Now lets be real here for a mo – even before turning 24 I had this looming fear of turning 25. I’m not even joking you – at 23 I was crippled by the fact that the quarter century mark was coming so quickly. It was this deadline or bench mark where my purpose was going to measured and I would either pass or fail depending on the level of my achievements thus far. And that’s a lot of pressure!!
Now before you say it like everyone does – but you went to the Olympics! Yes I did, and it has been the greatest accomplishment in my life thus far and I am so proud of myself, my family and friends and team that made that all happen. But that’s the big problem – I saw that and it didn’t feel like enough. All I would look at is all the things I haven’t done in comparison to everyone my age – I hadn’t finished my undergrad, I didn’t have a professional job, I wasn’t financially stable and on and on. I was screwed up in that big head of mine!
Being the utopic goal oriented and sometimes dreamland person that I am, leaving high school I felt launched to the brink of the possibility of success. There were so many things I wanted to do and accomplish and I had this idea of where I wanted my life to be when I turned 25 as I think most people do. I would have it all together, in my dream job probably something where I would have the freedom to work for myself. I would be put together. Adult. Whatever adulting really is anyway.
Ha. Boy was I wrong. Here I am at 25 still feeling like a pauper pinching pennies working random jobs running around wondering who the heck let me adult and how did I manage to skip passed the Adulting for dummies test!?
When the D-Day for the quarter century did finally come around and the clock ticked over making it all official, surprisingly I didn’t spontaneously combusting from failure to live up to expectations but rather I felt okay. I realized that yes I have amazing friends that are becoming physios, slaying their masters in Oceanography, working in proper full time jobs, becoming occupational therapists and doing all those things I thought I would be smashing beside them as we ride the rollercoaster of life – but – at the same time, I love my life in Perth at the moment. I love having the freedom of being a Uni student and having summers off to travel, I love not being a full time athlete and having weekends to spend with Lexi, I love coaching and helping create synchro routines – I may not be exactly where I want but that’s just going to have to be okay.
Comparison is the thief the joy and if we sit back and let the filters of social media ingrain their way into our self confidence we will never be happy where we are. When you start to look at all the beautiful things in your life with rose coloured glasses your realizes how bomb it actually is.
Now I don’t have it all figure out, don’t assume that. Being an Olympian has not given me a reigning crown of all knowing knowledge – I’m still just me. However I am learning that its okay to have a good ol’ scroll of the feed in awe and sometimes envy of all of our ‘friends amazingly perfect lives’ but at the end of the day – give yourself some credit. Y O U are DOING you’re best. Know that wanting to grow and improve will fill your life with richness as long you appreciate what is in this moment.
Remember, I don’t have all the answers – this is just the honesty of my journey and that is my truth bomb.
Peace out homies,